1. Becoming a good lover takes time. So does becoming a good father. Donating sperm may have been easy, but fatherhood can be a lot more rewarding. Be patient with yourself and enjoy the process.
2. Hands-on fathering is good for you, your partner and your baby. It's not just about changing diapers. Feeding, bathing, holding and talking to your little one helps you bond together and gain essential on-the-job training.
3. Your wife probably has baby on the brain. Being on duty twenty-four hours a day will do that to a person, and no, she's not as much fun as she used to be. HOWEVER, she will return being more like the woman you fell in love with - maybe even better than you remember - after the three of you make the profound transition to new parenthood.
4. Your wife still needs you. Stay nearby and be patient. You may not recognize the woman you partnered up with 9 or 10 months ago, but she is still in there.
5. Your sex life may have taken a nose dive, but you will be able to engage in some adult fun, with your wife, soon.
6. No one is to blame for postpartum depression, baby blues, or any other postpartum mood disorder. The vast majority of women go through some version of these. Don't blame her or yourself. Many symptoms are temporary, and there are treatments available for all of them.
7. Sleep helps. Your wife is probably getting a fraction of the sleep she used to. You may be on the light side as well. Helping each other get more sleep is one of the most important things you can do to help everyone feel better.
8. Trust your gut. Everybody, from the guy at the gym to your baby's pediatrician, will give you different advice. Even if you're new at this, your instincts are good. Your wife, your baby and your instincts will let you know what you need to know if you pay attention.
9. Your baby needs to play with you. Here is a case where having fun is the right thing. Playing stimulates your baby's mind and body to develop in healthy ways. You may feel more playful right now than your wife, so go for it.
10. Learn when to ask for help. Life can be stressful with a new baby. It should get easier with time. If things get worse, or simply don't improve, it is time to ask for help. Check out www.Mommy-Muse.com for information and great resources.
2. Hands-on fathering is good for you, your partner and your baby. It's not just about changing diapers. Feeding, bathing, holding and talking to your little one helps you bond together and gain essential on-the-job training.
3. Your wife probably has baby on the brain. Being on duty twenty-four hours a day will do that to a person, and no, she's not as much fun as she used to be. HOWEVER, she will return being more like the woman you fell in love with - maybe even better than you remember - after the three of you make the profound transition to new parenthood.
4. Your wife still needs you. Stay nearby and be patient. You may not recognize the woman you partnered up with 9 or 10 months ago, but she is still in there.
5. Your sex life may have taken a nose dive, but you will be able to engage in some adult fun, with your wife, soon.
6. No one is to blame for postpartum depression, baby blues, or any other postpartum mood disorder. The vast majority of women go through some version of these. Don't blame her or yourself. Many symptoms are temporary, and there are treatments available for all of them.
7. Sleep helps. Your wife is probably getting a fraction of the sleep she used to. You may be on the light side as well. Helping each other get more sleep is one of the most important things you can do to help everyone feel better.
8. Trust your gut. Everybody, from the guy at the gym to your baby's pediatrician, will give you different advice. Even if you're new at this, your instincts are good. Your wife, your baby and your instincts will let you know what you need to know if you pay attention.
9. Your baby needs to play with you. Here is a case where having fun is the right thing. Playing stimulates your baby's mind and body to develop in healthy ways. You may feel more playful right now than your wife, so go for it.
10. Learn when to ask for help. Life can be stressful with a new baby. It should get easier with time. If things get worse, or simply don't improve, it is time to ask for help. Check out www.Mommy-Muse.com for information and great resources.
About the Author:
Christy Cuellar-Wentz, M.A. is a radio host and mental health professional dedicated to providing support for the profound transition to new parenthood. She offers free weekly MP3 downloads with empowering ideas for new parents as well as essential information on postpartum depression, postnatal stress and baby blues.
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