From the time our kids are toddlers, we parents try to instill certain values that will help them get along in society, concepts that will grow and stay with them right into adulthood. Teaching children sharing skills is one of the most basic concepts that allow our kids to integrate into society in a healthy interchange of give and take. Our two and three year olds are still mired in a narcissistic mindset, where 'me' is the overbearing thought. Perhaps surprisingly, this is the best age at which to start teaching your children sharing concepts.
When kids are most wholly involved in the 'me', it's time to start making them aware of others. It's most successful when you use subtle means. If you begin by insisting that your child share his toy with his sibling, you're just defeating your own purpose. The toddler views this as an affront, a direct attack on the 'me', so to speak. A better technique is oblique. For example, you're bathing your child and he's got some toys in the tub. Point to his little rubber ducky. Oh, he's cute! Can I take a look at your ducky? You've accomplished a couple of things with this strategy. You've let him know you understand this is his toy and you're asking his permission to share it for a moment. You also have the advantage, in that probably he trusts you more than his sibling to give it back.
It's really funny to watch the various facial expressions and physical responses to this first lesson in children sharing with others. Their reaction may be based in personality or simply the mood of the moment. Some kids will get what might be described as a suspicious, or quizzical look on their faces as they digest your request. Others might snatch that ducky up in a heartbeat, clutching it possessively to their chest, while another may smile lovingly, tenderly and readily offering the prized toy to you. Whatever the response, your message did get through.
Another oblique technique in teaching kids to share is to turn it around, with you sharing with them. When you're reading a bedtime story and one illustration catches your child's attention, try this: Isn't that a great picture? Would you like to take this book, to get a better look before I go on reading? Possession of objects is at the core of the 'me' mindset. By giving your child possession of the desired object for a time, then having him return it to you, he becomes familiar and comfortable with exchanging toys with others.
The smallest of sharing experiences can become another small step down the road. Take a cookie from the cookie jar, announcing, Hey, let's share this cookie, OK? When you've managed to make sharing a non-threatening and fun experience, you've accomplished much in teaching your children sharing concepts.
How you handle kid's responses can affect the process of teaching this particular and important concept to your children. Sharing, or not sharing is the cause of many a happy afternoon of play, or alternatively, scraps between kids. Don't be heavy-handed at this first stage of teaching. Make a point of letting your child know that sharing is a two-way street and everyone wins. When you begin teaching children sharing skills at the height of the 'me' stage, by the time they reach the age of 5 or 6, they'll be far more willing to share, with fewer scraps to resolve.
When kids are most wholly involved in the 'me', it's time to start making them aware of others. It's most successful when you use subtle means. If you begin by insisting that your child share his toy with his sibling, you're just defeating your own purpose. The toddler views this as an affront, a direct attack on the 'me', so to speak. A better technique is oblique. For example, you're bathing your child and he's got some toys in the tub. Point to his little rubber ducky. Oh, he's cute! Can I take a look at your ducky? You've accomplished a couple of things with this strategy. You've let him know you understand this is his toy and you're asking his permission to share it for a moment. You also have the advantage, in that probably he trusts you more than his sibling to give it back.
It's really funny to watch the various facial expressions and physical responses to this first lesson in children sharing with others. Their reaction may be based in personality or simply the mood of the moment. Some kids will get what might be described as a suspicious, or quizzical look on their faces as they digest your request. Others might snatch that ducky up in a heartbeat, clutching it possessively to their chest, while another may smile lovingly, tenderly and readily offering the prized toy to you. Whatever the response, your message did get through.
Another oblique technique in teaching kids to share is to turn it around, with you sharing with them. When you're reading a bedtime story and one illustration catches your child's attention, try this: Isn't that a great picture? Would you like to take this book, to get a better look before I go on reading? Possession of objects is at the core of the 'me' mindset. By giving your child possession of the desired object for a time, then having him return it to you, he becomes familiar and comfortable with exchanging toys with others.
The smallest of sharing experiences can become another small step down the road. Take a cookie from the cookie jar, announcing, Hey, let's share this cookie, OK? When you've managed to make sharing a non-threatening and fun experience, you've accomplished much in teaching your children sharing concepts.
How you handle kid's responses can affect the process of teaching this particular and important concept to your children. Sharing, or not sharing is the cause of many a happy afternoon of play, or alternatively, scraps between kids. Don't be heavy-handed at this first stage of teaching. Make a point of letting your child know that sharing is a two-way street and everyone wins. When you begin teaching children sharing skills at the height of the 'me' stage, by the time they reach the age of 5 or 6, they'll be far more willing to share, with fewer scraps to resolve.
No comments:
Post a Comment