It's only been in recent years that society has accepted the fact that a substantial number of new mothers become depressed in the weeks and months after the arrival of their babies. Growing evidence is mounting that new fathers also experience nearly the same type of postpartum depression as their partners. They, too, can feel a sense of stress and depression when transitioning into their new parental responsibilities.
Men are now embracing a newfound ability to rise above preconceived notions that they must be the "glue" that holds the family together. No longer do men feel that they must bottle their emotions and put on an appearance of strength. It is now socially acceptable for a man to let his true emotions be known, without fear of being thought of as feminine or "soft", including the feelings of depression they might experience in the weeks and months following the birth of their babies.
"Mommy- Muse" Christy Cuellar-Wentz recently interviewed men's mental health professional Dr. Will Courtney to unearth some valuable insight on this condition that often plagues new fathers. He said, "So often, parents expect this experience of "baby bliss" that everyone suggests parenting is going to be like. Then, suddenly, this screaming, helpless infant is in their laps and they don't know what to do to calm this baby or soothe it. Suddenly, things start feeling a lot more difficult than they ever expected." A rising social mindset is allowing new fathers to express their feelings more truthfully. This is finally shedding light on paternal postnatal depression, unrecognized until now.
Parenthood is a profound event - whether experienced from the male or female point of view. The transition from being a couple to being a family can be an enormous challenge. Although the majority of men report a deep satisfaction with being a father, they do report that the transition from being "just a man" to being a dad is a frustrating, scary, daunting experience that requires massive adjustment. Men's postpartum depression can become quite severe, requiring mental health counseling from a qualified practitioner who understands the trials of new fatherhood and knows how to help.
Men typically are well-skilled at concealing their postpartum depression. They may, or may not, show any of the traditional signs that a new mother does, such as loss of interest, crying, and general sadness. Although a new father may attempt to "keep up appearances," the best clue that he might have an underlying problem is found by being alert to things that appear to be "just not right" in regards to his normal behaviors.
Another route that new fathers may take when in the throes of postpartum depression is to simply avoid parenthood altogether by becoming physically unavailable, according to Dr. Courtney. "I'm hearing a lot from new dads about the experience of not being able to tolerate being around the baby. They can't stand the baby's cries, the screaming; they say it makes them crazy. Or, they can't stand to smell the baby, or to even see it or hold it. Typically, men feel horribly guilty about feeling that way, and also very confused because this is not what they were told to expect with the birth of their child. All they really know to do is to try to get away from the thing that is kind of making them feel all of these things. They end up spending as much time as they can at the office."
New parents can take steps before the birth of their new baby (or even after the birth if they sense a problem) to better cope with postpartum depression. Here are some steps that you can take: Accept that postpartum depression is real in both men and women. If a man has a history of depression, beginning mental health counseling before the baby's birth is a great preventive measure. For couples with poor communication or strife in the relationship, couples counseling during and after the pregnancy can help offset depression by opening up the lines of communication between both partners. Economic problems should be faced head-on with the creation of a livable budget to alleviate the financial stress on the couple. Social support for both mom and dad is important. Decide who you can rely on if you need a sitter, etc.
New mothers and fathers must understand that postpartum depression is a completely natural condition that should be treated, not hidden. There is no shame in being depressed after the birth of a baby, especially considering that millions of parents experience some type of postpartum mood disorder each year. Seeking out treatment for the condition is an admission of being a parent who is willing to do whatever it takes to be the best parent and partner possible.
Men are now embracing a newfound ability to rise above preconceived notions that they must be the "glue" that holds the family together. No longer do men feel that they must bottle their emotions and put on an appearance of strength. It is now socially acceptable for a man to let his true emotions be known, without fear of being thought of as feminine or "soft", including the feelings of depression they might experience in the weeks and months following the birth of their babies.
"Mommy- Muse" Christy Cuellar-Wentz recently interviewed men's mental health professional Dr. Will Courtney to unearth some valuable insight on this condition that often plagues new fathers. He said, "So often, parents expect this experience of "baby bliss" that everyone suggests parenting is going to be like. Then, suddenly, this screaming, helpless infant is in their laps and they don't know what to do to calm this baby or soothe it. Suddenly, things start feeling a lot more difficult than they ever expected." A rising social mindset is allowing new fathers to express their feelings more truthfully. This is finally shedding light on paternal postnatal depression, unrecognized until now.
Parenthood is a profound event - whether experienced from the male or female point of view. The transition from being a couple to being a family can be an enormous challenge. Although the majority of men report a deep satisfaction with being a father, they do report that the transition from being "just a man" to being a dad is a frustrating, scary, daunting experience that requires massive adjustment. Men's postpartum depression can become quite severe, requiring mental health counseling from a qualified practitioner who understands the trials of new fatherhood and knows how to help.
Men typically are well-skilled at concealing their postpartum depression. They may, or may not, show any of the traditional signs that a new mother does, such as loss of interest, crying, and general sadness. Although a new father may attempt to "keep up appearances," the best clue that he might have an underlying problem is found by being alert to things that appear to be "just not right" in regards to his normal behaviors.
Another route that new fathers may take when in the throes of postpartum depression is to simply avoid parenthood altogether by becoming physically unavailable, according to Dr. Courtney. "I'm hearing a lot from new dads about the experience of not being able to tolerate being around the baby. They can't stand the baby's cries, the screaming; they say it makes them crazy. Or, they can't stand to smell the baby, or to even see it or hold it. Typically, men feel horribly guilty about feeling that way, and also very confused because this is not what they were told to expect with the birth of their child. All they really know to do is to try to get away from the thing that is kind of making them feel all of these things. They end up spending as much time as they can at the office."
New parents can take steps before the birth of their new baby (or even after the birth if they sense a problem) to better cope with postpartum depression. Here are some steps that you can take: Accept that postpartum depression is real in both men and women. If a man has a history of depression, beginning mental health counseling before the baby's birth is a great preventive measure. For couples with poor communication or strife in the relationship, couples counseling during and after the pregnancy can help offset depression by opening up the lines of communication between both partners. Economic problems should be faced head-on with the creation of a livable budget to alleviate the financial stress on the couple. Social support for both mom and dad is important. Decide who you can rely on if you need a sitter, etc.
New mothers and fathers must understand that postpartum depression is a completely natural condition that should be treated, not hidden. There is no shame in being depressed after the birth of a baby, especially considering that millions of parents experience some type of postpartum mood disorder each year. Seeking out treatment for the condition is an admission of being a parent who is willing to do whatever it takes to be the best parent and partner possible.
About the Author:
Overwhelmed new mother? Christy Cuellar-Wentz, M.A. can help. As an international talk radio host and mental health expert, she is passionate about providing the resources you need for your journey into motherhood. Sign up for free MP3s and explore specialized coaching for new and expectant moms. Go beyond postpartum survival into thriving at the Mommy-Muse website and The Official Mommy-Muse.com Blog.
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